


SPIIIIIDDDDEEERRRR-MAAAAANNNNN!!!

by Kaoupa



Category: Spider-Man (Video Game 2018), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-28 03:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18203072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoupa/pseuds/Kaoupa
Summary: The Spiders have been expanding their multiverse-spanning group for some time now, getting into contact with new Spider-People one at a time. And in nearly every universe they've run into, someone in particular has been an issue for one of them - not a super villain, just really annoying.





	SPIIIIIDDDDEEERRRR-MAAAAANNNNN!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this literally in about half an hour due to boredom. Not that long or well-done, but it tells the story I want it to. And you should go listen to Jameson's reaction to Miles Morales becoming Spiderman 2 in the PS4 game's Silver Lining DLC. It is great.

“So, Jameson actually stopped working for the Bugle?” Peter B Parker almost had trouble understanding that. Jameson had been working for the Bugle since - before he was born, it seemed like. And it didn’t look like he was planning to stop any time soon.

“Jameson is actually the mayor in my world. He’s… well, I think he’s actually worse there than he was as a reporter.” Gwen Stacy shrugged.

“Yeah, and he’s running a talk show focused on smearing us, here.” Miles Morales of Earth 1048 replied, sighing. Then, he chuckled. “But you should have heard his reaction - when he found out I was helping Peter? Two Spider-Men had him _freaking out._ ”

“How much?” Gwen couldn’t help asking, in morbid curiosity.

The new 23-year old Peter Parker snorted. “He just _lost it_ \- he was screaming at his aid to double his prescriptions, and he said he might have had a heart attack in action.”

“Seriously?” The black-and-white Benjamin looked amazed through his mask, somehow. "Jameson always seemed harder to get rid of than that."

“No joke.” The Peter Parker of this universe, that they’d recently contacted, nodded. “I checked it out later, he went to the hospital for a few days and got a recommendation to stop doing his show for at least a month so his blood pressure would go down.” He snorted. "He was broadcasting again two days later."

“So, no heart attacks like mine, then? Huh, pity.” This dismissal got the rest of the Spiders looking at Ham in shock. “What - oh.” Understanding dawned on the pig-bitten spider’s face. “Is a heart attack a serious issue in your universes?”

“Yeah! It could be, like, fatal if it’s not taken care of quick, even for us.” Peni replied. SP//DR’s “face” displayed a large sweatdrop.

“Heh, sorry. Guess that we can’t take him out for an episode or two by all showing up at once, then.” Spider-Ham did, at least, look ashamed.

There was a long pause.

“...Right?”

  


J Jonah Jameson’s apartment was a high-rise, far above the street level. While not as high up as Norman Osborn’s or as fancy, it was still a very nice place to live, by anyone’s standards. To the Spiders who were now watching from the outside, and who mostly lived in a one-room apartment or with their families, it had been amazing just to peer in.

And for the last half hour, they’d been getting a bunch of lovely views as they swang around back and forth in front of the living room window.

“ _JJJJJJAAA_ ** _RREEEEEEDDDD_ ** ! GET ME THE PDNY! **_ALL! OF!_ ** THE PDNY! I WANT THESE WALL-CRAWLERS WATCHED! I WANT THEM ANSWERING FOR THIS! I WANT - **I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY’RE NOT DOING** ! THEY’RE LOITERING! YES, THE LAW SHOULD APPLY! _EVEN IF THEY’RE FIVE HUNDRED FEET UP_! LOITERERS! WATCHERS! GET OFF MY STREET! GET ME-”

Making sure to swing by right in front of all the cameras he could see, Spider-Ham shot off a web.

It hit Jameson right in the mouth.

Gwen Stacy knew that she shouldn’t have been laughing. It would completely ruin the image they were shooting for.

She couldn’t help it, and neither could any of the others.

The video reached ten million views in less than a week.


End file.
